Thoughts from Libby...

Best "Libby-ism" of the weekend:

L: "Mama, are pumas stinky?"
Me: {not catching on quite yet} "What do you mean?"
L:  "You know... because of the {whispering} 'poo' in their name."
Me: {trying not to laugh AT her}

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Baby A and Baby B

I just read my {pregnant with twins} friend, Andy's, blog and found out she is having a boy and a girl! In fact, like Libby and Drew- baby A is a girl and baby B is a boy. What exciting news! I came across this photo from Easter Sunday, 2007 as we were leaving the hospital. And trust me- it was NOT staged. But it does reflect their personalities perfectly.

Here's to an amazingly wonderful ride, Andy and Matt! ;)

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25 Things About Me

I bought a few vouchers from either Living Social or Groupon, including one for an acupuncture session and honestly sort of forgot about them. As I searched my inbox for "acupuncture" to find them, this came up... a game from Facebook that I responded to back in 2009. I thought it was an interesting "cliff notes version" of me. You know- in case you wanted to get to know me better! :) Enjoy...

1. My full name is Erin Kate Kreller Tardiff. I was called Erin the first year of my life, but supposedly my Aunt Cathy came to visit from and called me Katie for a nickname—it stuck. I tried to go back to Erin in the 5th grade, but never answered my teachers when they called on me.

2. I was born on Aug. 2nd and share a bday with one of my very close high school friends, Becky (now known as Rebecca). We later found out we were in the same hospital, too.

3. I am 5 ft. 1 ½ inches tall, but I usually lie and say I’m 5’2” (that ½ inch really makes a difference).

4. My first car was a 1984 blue Oldsmobile Delta 88 (a boat)--It fit all of my girlfriends in it in high school. We used to smoke cigarettes in it and listen to Rob Base’s “It Takes Two”. I now drive a 2007 Honda Odyssey mini van with 2 car seats. UPDATE-- In my "I have a minivan" crisis, I downsized back to a Honda Accord, but that only lasted 1 year. I'm back to a minivan and currently drive a 2007 Toyota Sienna. I continue to live the minivan dream!

5. I only skipped school once in high school-- I went with my friends Becky, Emilie, Sarah, Stephanie, and Casey to Becky’s house to lay out by her pool. We got bored after a few hours and decided to go back to school, which was not a wise idea. I was the only one who got busted. I had detention and was grounded for a month.

6. It rained the night of my high school graduation, so we had it inside the hot and sticky cafeteria. I had only 4 tickets to give for family and friends to attend. I gave 1 to my dad, 1 to my mom, 1 for my grandfather (Popi) and saved 1 for someone who didn’t even show up. I wish I would have given it to my younger brother, Scott--he died 6 months later in a car accident.

7. I hate scary movies and refuse to watch them. I saw "Halloween" on a date with Darrell and had nightmares for weeks. I hated having to watch "Psycho" in Mr. Levy’s Film class in high school.

8. I am the worst night owl- just like my dad. Sometimes I do weird things in my sleep—like bend my knees or kick. I clench my teeth all the time and have 2 crowns and wear a night guard because of it.

9. I’ve never eaten asparagus and I don’t really know why. I love my mom’s pot roast, but have never been able to duplicate it.

10. I sucked my thumb until I was about 10 years old. I prayed that I could stop and didn’t want to go to slumber parties b/c I was afraid I’d do it in my sleep. I also used to bite my nails really really badly. UPDATE - I bite my nails still (but not as bad)

11. I had a sleeping bag with a big Chiquita banana on it—so did all of my siblings

12. I had 3 earrings in my left ear (I got the 3rd one at Cheri’s loft one weekend) and 2 in my right while in high school. I still have the holes, but only wear 1 on each ear now.

13. I was a huge REM fan all through college. I met the band backstage in Baton Rouge when my cousin Boog (real name is Eric) got us passes. I was disappointed since they really didn’t have any personality and didn’t remember which album "Finest Worksong" was on (Eponymous). Michael Stipe also said he forgot the lyrics-- TOTAL buzzkill.

14. I sat next to a Chicago Bull (Will Perdue) at a Chicago Cubs game in my 2nd year of college. I didn’t know who he was and shared my peanuts with him. I just knew he was really, really tall.

15. I’ve never been snow skiing or ridden a horse.

16. Yo hablo un poquito de espanol, but wish I were fluent. I know a little sign language, too, and taught my twins some of it. I also use a few signs with students with language delays.

17. The first thing I used to look at before dating a boy was his hands to see how clean they were (it tells me a lot about him). I also looked at the condition of his shoes—I realize now that this was pretty strange.

18. I broke my pinkie once playing football when I was younger and my right foot when I fell down while in Boston with Saleena in the summer of 2005. I tend to fall down and hurt myself (usually just scrape my knees or something) at least once per year. UPDATE: In fact, since I wrote this, I fell again in 2011 and hurt my left foot, but didn't end up breaking anything {phew}.

19. I met Darrell when he moved in next door to me the summer before I graduated from LSU. Funny thing is that my first crush was on my next-door neighbor, Denny Collins, when I was in the 5th grade.

20. In grad school, I worked at the Limited with my friend Sarah. I had the privilege of saying hello to every customer walking in and cleaning dressing rooms. I was also a waitress at Lonestar Steakhouse, Brewbacher’s Grill, and Louisiana Pizza Kitchen. I've always wanted to be a cashier—I love the self-checkouts in grocery stores. But the serious couponers out there nowadays are ruining that dream for me.

21. I played the piano for a little while when I was young and wish I would’ve stuck with it. I also played clarinet in grade school, but not for long (I was terrible). In college, I took 3 guitar lessons from the Music Corner in Covington and realized it wasn’t easy! I quit right after.

22. I get carsick when I read in the car or sit backwards on the Metro.

23. I love anything and everything toile.

24. My friend Shannon dreamed I had twins (long before I was even pregnant)--I thought she was crazy. As soon as I found out I was having twins, I just knew they would be boy/girl.

25. I almost became a nurse, but didn’t want to handle needles or give shots. Funny thing is--I went through acupuncture and gave myself shots several times a day for months with 3 rounds of IVF and gestational diabetes.

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twelve

In 12 years,

{we did this}

{we honeymooned here}

{we moved here}

{we visited here}

{and here}

 

 {and here}

{we ate the top layer of our wedding cake here}

{we lived just a few miles from this}

{we became homeowners}

{we raised and eventually said goodbye to her}

{we decided we wanted one of these}

 {we went through lots of these}

{we waited and waited...}

{then we bought this}

{soon after, we were doubly blessed with these}

{which meant we bought this}

{and about a million dollars worth of these}

{and this}

{darrell bought me many, many, many of these}

{we look forward to many more of these}

{but we agree we are done with these}

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Antique Farm House

I've been a member of "One Kings Lane" and other sites like "Zulilly", which offer specials on certain items via email. You have to act quickly, though, because they sell out quite often. I like "One Kings Lane" a lot, but don't find I have the budget to spend on these high-ticket items (even if that $2000 chair is a good deal since it's a designer brand). So... I came across a neat new site called Antique Farm House. I wonder if they are from the same company?

Just look at all of these neat things! They are great prices, too. But take my advice-- ORDER NOW because they will sell out. I've missed out on several things by putting it off until tomorrow! No pressure or anything. :)

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Twins Defined

In case you ever wondered what it's like to be twins, Libby and Drew give you the run down:



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This is the Stuff (that drives me crazy)

Ever have a day where you wonder why you even got out of bed in the first place? You know... where everything seems to go wrong and all odds are against you? Today started out that way for me.

As I was getting ready for work, I noticed my wedding band was missing one of its channel-set diamonds. UGH. Then, my van's battery was dead. AGAIN. Darrell came home, jump started it, and switched cars with me for the day (while he brought it to get a new battery). Things seemed to be looking up. Until...

As I was leaving a preschool in Fairfax, this is what happened to me (in Darrell's Jeep, mind you):

 

As I was going through an intersection, I noticed the car to my left slammed on its brakes. I braked myself and then BAM! A Honda Civic had run the stop light and I smashed into its right side. He spun around and ended up turning completely around, facing the wrong way in the busy street (Fairfax County Parkway). He was shaken up, but thankfully no one was hurt. I instantly said a prayer because the Jeep has a bigger front end, which is made of more "solid" materials than my mini van. I don't want to even think about what would have happened if I was driving my mini van today. 

The other car:

 The other guy tried to tell the policeman that I came out of nowhere. So sad that people lie, especially to a police man who has seen a wreck or 2 and discovered the skid marks all over the road. Thankfully, Darrell came to get me and we had to wait around and do paperwork and so forth. Then, we took a trip to the body shop, and handled about 15 phone calls between the driver at fault's insurance company, the rental car company, and the worker's compensation department (since I was working at the time). A small sacrifice to pay for not ending up seriously injured... or worse.

A few hours later, my back and neck started getting really sore, so I decided to get it checked out at Urgent Care (one of worker's comp providers). I cringe at being exposed to all kinds of stuff in waiting rooms like this. Watching Howie Mandel talk about his OCD and germophobia on TV there did not help things! After 30 minutes of waiting, 1 nap, many prayers of thanksgiving, and reading a few more books of Revelation (since we are studying it in our women's bible study group), the doctor told me it most likely was just muscle strain. She suggested I take Advi, and gave me the clear to return to work. She warned me that tomorrow and Thursday will most likely be really painful. Let's hope she's wrong!

Lying down waiting to be seen by the doctor allowed me to think things through. I was so aggravated about my van not starting, but after looking at Darrell's car, I realize that his front end is much bigger and more solid than my van's. I thank God for protecting me and the other driver because had it been one milli-second earlier, things would have been very different. It's hard to ignore the message to "slow down with life and realize what you've got". Stop complaining all the time about bad things always happening to me. Start appreciating all the time I have here with my family and friends. Listen more, talk less. Be still and know that He is God.

This song came to mind most of the day today. Can you relate?




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The Latest

We are going through a tough phase right now at age 4. Everyone says the 2's are terrible, but I say the 3's and 4's are worse. That's because they can talk back (with such sass sometimes), copy everything they see (especially bad behavior), disobey, and flat out ignore you when things aren't going their way. I have to take some deep breaths at bath/bedtime because oooo-weeeee they are HOT and sassy. I feel like I have teenagers at my house! I keep going back to my mom telling us how she would never say/do that to her mother and clearly remember rolling my eyes every time. Well, now I know what she means! In fact, we have started the "No/Yes, ma'am and No/Yes, sir" rule and I plan to stick with it. There's a lot that I can handle, but rude, disrespectful kids are not one of them.

With all of that being said, there are also some amazing things about age 4. They are a little more independent, can play together, and enjoy being a "special helper". They come up with some amazing stories, artwork, and ideas. They also have an "imaginary family" as they told me today. "Mrs. Mango" is "the one who takes care of all of the animals and gives them food". She is also the one that would take care of a pet if we decided to get one. I'm doubtful that's true, though Libby and Drew like to try and use this as leverage. :)

Drew is smart- really smart. Smart enough to point out your mistakes in routines, recalling stories/movies, pronunciation of words, and especially things "you promised". He's doing 100 piece puzzles and has recently begun Legos (the small ones). He loves Star Wars, Cars 2, Spider Man, and Bat Man. He is moving away from Toy Story. Tonight when I tucked him in, he told me he was going to be a race car driver for the M&M car. He picked this car b/c M&M's are "Daddy's favorite". But he also had tons of questions I could not answer, like where these cars are made, how they go so fast, why the doors don't open, and so on. I divert these to Darrell. Drew has kept us on our toes (as well as Brenda, his preschool teachers, and KidZone teachers) with his behavior the past year or so. I have prayed every day for my sweet boy to return to me. I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I think he's returning finally! YAY!

But... guess who's decided to pick up where he left off...

Libby is our free spirit. She's so cute at mispronouncing or misusing words (like "nusery" for "anniversary"), playing with Hello Kitty (her 3 different ones), and doing arts/crafts. She has the best stories to tell and does.not.stop.talking. I mean EVER. I can't believe I'm typing this because apparently I was am the same. I think I've toned down a lot, but definitely have the gift of the gab. She used to be really camera shy as a baby. It was funny- whenever I pulled out the video camera to catch her doing something cute, she immediately stopped. But now, she wants to be taped. I finally pulled it out today and caught her in her element singing.  Thought you might enjoy it:




So, my prayer now is that this is just a "phase" and that she goes through it much quicker than Drew did! And in the mean time, I'll use this adorable photo of the babies when they were almost 4 months old as a means to calm my nerves. :)

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And She Wored A Striped Shirt!

It's always exciting when you get the wonderful news about someone expecting a baby. My friend, Andy, is pregnant with twins and I just went to a baby shower for my friend, Kirsten. Plus my brother, Bryan, and his wife Erica are expecting their 2nd baby girl in March. Babies everywhere! New moms have asked me for advice/tips since I had Libby and Drew and it's a little tough since my memory is terrible. Thankfully, I have this blog. It really is like our baby book because I wrote so much detail about every little thing when they were little. So, my first bit of advice is to blog/journal because it's true- you WILL forget things. :)

I wanted to blog this cute "Libby'ism" from today (you know, before I forget)...


Since we have another friend named Andy, I often have to clarify with "Hayley and Kate's Andy" or "church Andy". Libby also refers to Andy-with-twins as "church CD Andy" since we have a New Life Band CD. After I told them I was having lunch with "church Andy who has twin babies in her belly" (say that 5 times fast), I decided we needed a shorter name for her. I told them her last name, and now they call her "Miss Andy Spray". So cute, even if it does make her sound sort of like some sweet little old lady- like the one from the movie "Up" (I tear up just thinking of that movie).

Darrell and I went to 1st service today so for 2nd service, I was in KidZone holding 2 crying infants at once (if you ever want practice for the twins, just come on by sometime). Libby and Drew wanted to go see "Miss Andy Spray" sing. They didn't tell me until afterward, but this was our conversation on the drive home:

Libby: "Mama, Miss Andy Spray sang so beautiful, didn't she?"
Me: "Yes, she does!"
Libby: "Yeah. She sanged 'Hosanna'!"
Me: "I know. That is my favorite song and I love when she sings it."
Libby: "Yeah."
{pause for some really deep thinking  - which means something good is coming...}
"And she wored a stripe shirt, Mama!"
Me: {smile}

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Things Get Ugly Before They Get Better

Do you find it interesting that things get ugly before they can get better? In all honesty, it's no fun at all. But why doesn't my human brain realize that the ugliness sometimes means that the light is around the corner? Even though I know this to be true, my simple human mind just cannot grasp it. If Pavlov could train dogs so that they knew what to expect around the corner, why can't I? Especially when I've been through it before time and time again?

Ever wake up in the morning with a black eye? Okay, let me preface this... I must have been dreaming or maybe even having a nightmare because for some strange reason early Tuesday morning, I guess I went to turn over or something and I just remember whipping around toward Darrell and all of a sudden.. SMACK... I slammed my face into the top of his head. That's what he gets for cuddling too early in the morning, right? ha ha ha But seriously... it woke him up and he said it hurt, but not like it hurt my left eye. Wanna see?

Day 1 (with some concealer):

No pain, really- just a few stares from people I met for the first time at work (a parent and some staff from a new community preschool I visited).

Day 2:

Today it hurts a lot more. Although Libby and Drew were so sweet, saying, "I think it looks like pretty makeup," I wasn't convinced. I have a headache and it feels really swollen- basically it feels like I got punched in the eye! I don't think I can put concealer on it today because just barely touching it hurts.

But we know that with bruising, it looks really ugly as it's healing. Yesterday it was blue, today it's purple, and I expect tomorrow to be yellow or green. This is the sign that it is getting better.

Which brings me to my next point... Dr. Katie has once again decided to cease yet another new medication prescribed to me for anxiety and depression. I have had great success with one in particular, but the doctor felt I needed an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) to make the total package of happiness. I tried one, gained 35 lbs and had a ferocious craving of sugar that could never be satisfied. I tapered it off independently, leading to serious side effects, or SSRI withdrawal. This felt like having the worst hangover EVER, for weeks and weeks (while still expecting to work with preschoolers, raise my own, and function in society). NICE. My doctor was unaware that I had received my MD in the 2 or so months since we had seen one another. Needless to say, I told him that especially since I had gone through this withdrawal, I was never putting that in my body again. But, my mood took a major nose dive. MAJOR.NOSE.DIVE.

So, much to my chagrin, I agreed to try another SSRI. It's been 2 months and I have been so, so tired. I mean.. TIRED. Not the tired that comes from having newborn twins, but the tired of "I can't even listen to what you are saying because I am asleep with my eyes open" kind of tired. The "I am no help to my husband at all because I am too tired to help with cooking, housework, bathing children, bringing them to school, or being awake past 7:00 PM" tired.  The "I cannot believe I am still tired when I am sleeping AT LEAST 12 hours nightly" kind of tired. I couldn't get out of bed in the mornings or make it to my bed fast enough (usually falling asleep at the dinner table or on the sofa shortly after) kind of tired. So, I tried to wean off as best I could and once again am having the nice hangover to go with it. This time it's not as terrible, but still no fun.

What's keeping me going is knowing that things get UGLY with a capital U before they get better. Isn't that true for everyone? It is for me. But it's the time of being in the UGLY that makes my brain forget. Then I get stuck in the UGLY for more than necessary. Why is that? Are we simply wired that way as women, as mothers, or as humans?

Why is it that I want to stay in the UGLY sometimes? Why can't I accept a compliment someone gives me, especially about my appearance? Just yesterday, even with my eye the way it was (which really wasn't all that noticeable), someone I see every Tuesday at a preschool I go to asked me if I was losing weight. Immediately, as if a script programmed into my brain- I went into diarrhea of the mouth discounting this... "Oh, it must be this sweater or pants or something else because there's no way I could have lost any weight since I can't ever seem to no matter how hard I try. You are too sweet saying something like that..." as I laughed it off. Ok, WHAT?? Instead of just saying, "Maybe I have," or "Thank you," I immediately turn into that little unworthy girl who enjoys self-destruction and succumbs to the resistance around her. Deep down, I'm begging for others to accept me and love me and notice me (in a good way, that is), but when I get that gift, I slam it to the ground and stomp on it. It's like I punch it in the eye or something (he he). But why?

 ⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV1984)

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