Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving like we did. We got together with some great neighbors (3 other families) for a pot-luck dinner. Let's just say we had TONS of food and I probably tasted all of them. I'm still full 5 hours later! But that's what the day is all about, right? Well, at least part of it.
When asked what I'm thankful for this year, I don't know where I could start... our family, our house, our jobs, our health, our friends, our faith. But on this day, I started to think about our story on how we got to this place we are in today. It was a long and difficult road but I am so thankful for where it ended. I have never written this down anywhere and since I plan to have this blog as
a supplement to Libby and Drew's baby books, I want to type it out before I forget it. I think it is important for them to know where they came from, so to speak, and just how much they are loved because of it. Here it goes...
Dear Libby and Drew,
Now that you are grown up, I think it is important that you know where you came from. This is the "story" of how you came to be...
Several years ago, when Daddy and I lived in Arlington, I had a great OB/gyn there named Dr. Caskie. She was highly recommended and I really liked her. A few years later, we bought our townhouse in Centreville, about 20 miles away. In the summer of 2004, I went to a new OB/gyn who was also highly recommended. I told her we were thinking of having children soon, so she wanted to run some bloodwork to make sure all was okay. She called the next day to tell me I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Ok, what? Basically, my hormones were out of wack so I wasn't ovulating. She prescribed metformin, which is a drug for diabetics. It turns out that the same gland (pituitary?) that regulates your insulin levels also regulates fertility hormones. I tried that for a few months, but no luck.
In January, 2005, I decided I wanted to go back to see Dr. Caskie again- mostly because I liked her and wanted a 2nd opinion. She basically confirmed this diagnosis, but decided to start me on clomid, a fertility medication, right away. She also referred me to her partner, Dr. Cobbs, since she specialized in infertility. I was now ovulating like CRAZY. So much so, we were worried I'd have triplets or quadruplets! Daddy had to learn how to give me shots to help release the eggs. They were huge needles and he was really nervous! But I had faith in him, encouraged him, and he did it without even hurting me at all. I don't know if I could have done that to him, so I am so lucky to have him be so strong.
After a few months of this, no luck. Or I would get positive pregnancy test results but would miscarry shortly after. In June of 2005 I got another positive test but just knew that something was not right. They kept reassuring me that my blood levels were good, but I thought I was miscarrying again. I finally called one day right before school ended for the year and demanded that I get some other test because something wasn't right. They scheduled me for an ultrasound at the hospital the next day. Daddy and I went in and long story short, they found I was pregnant, but in the wrong place-- in one fallopian tube. This can be very dangerous for a mom, so they rushed me in to surgery and I ended up losing our 9-week-old baby of course, but my tube was also damaged and had to be removed as well. I was not really hopeful I would get pregnant now that I had only 1 tube. Daddy took such good care of me after my surgery. He was my little nurse! After all of this, we decided to take a break for a few months.
In November we decided to seek treatment with Shady Grove Fertility Clinic. I was shocked, to say the least, that my insurance plan with the school system covered $100,000 in IVF/fertility procedures. This is amazing since each round of in-vitro fertilization can cost around $15,000! So, Daddy and I met with Dr. Browne and she thought we were perfect candidates and was very optimistic about IVF. We started right away in January of 2006. After a few weeks of MANY shots that I gave to myself or that Daddy gave to me, Dr. Browne called to say that things weren't looking right and my estrogen level took a nose dive. We decided to stop that cycle and regroup next month.
We started again in early spring and got through the entire cycle. They retrieved 6 eggs and 2 embryos looked exceptionally good after fertilization. We decided to implant 2 embryos and were both so excited. I got a positive pregnancy test. Yay! BUT... a few days later, actually on Easter Sunday, we were in the clinic for another test because I was miscarrying again. It was not a happy day for Daddy and me.
We regrouped again and this time I tried acupuncture along with our IVF treatment. I had read that this may help women trying to conceive, so I figured I'd give it a try. What did I have to lose? If anything, it made my sudden eczema disappear, my allergies improve, and it calmed me down so much. I was so relaxed and wasn't as obsessed and anxious about appointments and every other thing. I decided to just do what I needed to do and hope and pray for the best.
I was soooo bloated this month. Well, it turned out I had around
35 eggs ready to go. Yes, that's right - thirty-five! But the problem is, quantity isn't better than quality. And that was true for me. In fact, several fertilized abnormally while others didn't survive at all. But there were 4 that fertilized normally and 2 embryos looked exceptionally good.
A few days later, Daddy and I went in and demanded that we implant 3 this time since 2 didn't work last time. The doctor working that day flat out refused saying it was too risky to have triplets for so many reasons. I was mad and felt like he was not listening to us. We had made this decision and who was this doctor to tell us any differently? He implanted only 2 and I just knew that we'd be down the same path again. AND we only had 1 more round left with insurance. I left there feeling doubtful that this round would work. It was out of our hands now.
We got the phone call a few weeks later that I was pregnant again. I was happy, but honestly prepared for the worst. The phrase I kept hearing from all the doctors and nurses was "cautiously optimistic". They told me my hormone level was really, really strong and high. In every other pregnancy, I had numbers that were at the minimum levels- never THIS high. I went back every few days and the numbers were skyrocketing. As I checked out at the front desk after the 3rd or so blood test, the receptionist smiled and said, "Congratulations!" I thought this was odd because she had never said this to me before and in the clinic that is so full of anxious and doubtful patients, I had never heard anyone say this out loud in front of other people. She whispered, "Did you know that this kind of number usually means more than 1 baby?" I smiled and wondered if she could be right.
A few weeks later we had an ultrasound and the doctor explained to us that he and the nurse would look at the screen 1st, not to worry, and when they were ready they would turn it to show us. They whispered back and forth and he had a furrowed brow the entire time. Then he said, "So, how do you feel about TWINS?!" He turned the screen around and there you were! So beautiful as little tadpoles. I was 6 weeks pregnant with you and we were even able to see 2 strong heartbeats, which was great! Daddy was so happy, too. We just could not believe it. We went to Uno's for pizza down the street and called Nana, Aunt Gretchen, Uncle Tim, Uncle Jeff, Pops, and Maw Maw and Paw Paw. They are all so excited, too. TWINS! I was so excited and on the phone the entire time that I barely touched my pizza!
I just knew that you would be a boy and a girl and for a while we couldn't tell about Libby because she kept her legs crossed a lot, so we couldn't see! But we knew about Drew right away. Things were going great and I was growing by the minute. Dr. Cobbs was so happy when I went back to her for my regular treatment. She decided to have me go to a perinatologist because a twin pregnancy with my history can be risky. I'm so glad because wouldn't you know that at week 19, he noticed my cervix was thinning. He told me to stay home for a week from work and to come back. When I went back, he told me it had gotten much worse. He was afraid I'd go into labor and this would be WAY too soon. They made me sit down and wheeled me over to the hospital next door. I was having a cerclage the next morning. I got to have a spinal block, which prepared me for my actual delivery months later. While on the table, the doctor told me he could see Libby! She was right there and my cervix was not holding. They stitched me up successfully and were pleased with the surgery.
Daddy took me home the next day and I was on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy-- 16 weeks. Luckily, I was able to be at home and not have to go to the hospital. I was monitored closely with many appts. and so far, so good. Daddy moved my microwave and little dorm fridge I had in my previous classroom up into our bedroom. He switched out the TV for a bigger one, loaded me up with tons of DVD's and a basket of snacks and soup. I was now in my own little studio apartment. I'll never forget the wonderful Christmas dinner he made for us. He got a honey-baked ham and made this delicious dessert with ice cream sandwiches, caramel, cool whip, and who knows what else. I was so touched that he did this all by himself!
Many people ask me how I did it being in bed for so long, but any time I felt sorry for myself or bored, I just thought of the potential harm I could do to you if I got up and that made it so easy to lie there in bed for all that time. Plus lots of TV and gossip magazines along with hour-long phone calls to Nana helped.
In early February, Aunt Katy picked me up and drove me to Dr. Cobbs' office for a long glucose re-test since my levels were high. They say this is common when you have 2 babies sometimes. Aunt Katy was so sweet. She brought tons of magazines, a pillow, and sat with me for 3 HOURS while they took my blood at various times. She drove me home after a trip to Wendy's for a hamburger and frosty, which is what I craved a lot. Speaking of, I also craved lemonade and peanut butter. I wasn't ever a huge fan of peanut butter before but then and even now, I think it is the greatest thing ever. My favorite is Reese's peanut butter eggs. Delish!
A few days later, my friends give me a "pajama party" baby shower at our house. I'm happy to see other humans and to open all those baby gifts! Daddy kept saying the shower was going to be "really REALLY special". I wonder who had what up their sleeve. It was Mardi Gras time, so Saleena (the hostess) told me she was putting in some carnival music and then blasted it loud. I look up and in walked Nana, Aunt Gretchen, and your cousin Ella! They had flown up as a surprise! It was wonderful. We had such a great time at the shower and were given TONS of gifts. They filled up our entire dining room! Aunt Gretchen and Ella all had fun playing in the snow outside the next day before they had to fly back home. Nana decided to stay here to take care of me until you are born.
Three days later, as I suspected, I got the call and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Yuck. Nana and I went to an endocrinologist and we tried a modified diet, but it wasn't enough. I then had to start insulin injections and got up to doing them 3 times daily. I thought I would scream if I ever saw another needle again by this point! Plus I really really really wanted a Frosty or chocolate of any kind. But Nana helps me stick to my diet plan by preparing all my meals and snacks and I made it to the end. Probably a good thing since I was already so big with twins. I couldn't imagine growing any bigger than I was!!
At week 36, I was still "holding"! I went in for a checkup and scheduled my C-section for the next week with Dr. Cobbs. I then went to see the perinatologist and he tells me he is a bit worried b/c Libby's fluid is low. I wasn't aware of the risk in that. But it can be dangerous for her, so he wanted to have a C-section ASAP. He tells us to go home and to wait for instructions. I called Andi, our next-door neighbor who was also a nurse in the High Risk Pregnancy unit at another hospital. She was actually friends with Dr. Cobbs since she had worked for her years ago. She told me she wanted to call Dr. Cobbs to tell her what is going on. I didn't want to bother her while she was on her vacation for Easter. But Andi said she wanted to so that she could tell her about my low fluid. I got a call a few hours later from Dr. Cobbs. She seemed a little worried, too, and told me she wanted to call her partner, Dr. Williams, who had seen me earlier that day. A little while later, Dr. Williams called and told me to report to the hospital the next day. I was going to have 2 babies tomorrow on April 4, 2007!!! I couldn't believe it. It was here!
The next evening, at 36 weeks and 1 day at 9:06 and 9:07 PM, Dr. Caskie was on call so she delivered you and you were beautiful and amazing and perfect and sweet and cuddly and OURS. Libby came out screaming her head off! Drew was pretty quiet, but he did cry. Dr. Caskie told us that Drew was shoved up at the top of my rib cage (which is why I had such terrible reflux and heartburn) and once Libby was taken out, he literally rolled all the way down! Daddy had tears in his eyes and I will never forget the look he had when he was holding both of you for the 1st time. It was beautiful. One of the nurses held each one of you up to me individually. Libby was blowing sweet bubbles. Drew looked so serious with a furrowed brow. He was actually wrinkly for a while until he gained some weight. You were both so healthy and needed no NICU time at all. You went to the regular nursery and the pediatrician there and all the nurses kept telling us just how perfect you were. Not a thing wrong at all and both at great weights. Drew was a little jaundice, but didn't even need any light therapy. It just resolved on its own.
We went home as a family on Easter Sunday. It had snowed the day before that, which was odd for April. But the Easter bunny didn't forget you since he left you candy and presents. I was just so happy to have candy again after not being able to have it for a while! ;) Yummy peanut butter eggs.
So that's our story. It is a long one, but honestly all of it seems to be a blur now. I couldn't have been any more blessed with 2 perfect little miracles. My 2 miracles. You are my joy and I can never express how thankful I am to have you. And that's even on days when you drive me crazy with your 2-year-old tricks. I love you with all of my heart, Dibba and Drewsie. God had a plan when He created you and gave you to us. And even when it was so hard waiting for it to happen, I couldn't imagine it any other way. Daddy and I know you were definitely worth the wait!
All my love,
Mama
