Sing, Sing, Sing

Today I woke up in a good mood, despite it being early and after only 6 hours of sleep. I had some coffee (my new vice), ate breakfast with the kids, and got ready for church. I was awake and focused throughout our Financial Peace University class (1st service) and ready to be inspired during 2nd service. Since my blog is sort of changing into not only things going on with Libby and Drew, but the growth of me spiritually and emotionally, I thought I would share some of my deep thoughts as of lately...

I love our church and the fresh, unpredictable, and fun way in which it teaches us about God and Jesus. It is completely different from my upbringing and I really really like it. I remember the 1st time I went in January, 2009. I had been looking for something to fill the giant hole in my heart and had heard from my very good friends (my very close friend and coworker, Leslie, my other good friend and next-door-neighbor Andi, and fellow twin mom and blogger Peggy), who were all members, how neat this place was. So, I decided to tag along with Andi one Sunday and the rest is history.

One of my favorite things about the service is the music at the beginning. It's a time of worship and I love the songs. Every week is different with a new band each time (well, several different bands that rotate). The first few times I went to church at New Life, I was so overcome by emotion and felt that every song fit my situation perfectly and was being sung only for me. I now realize that this was no coincidence! As time went on, I sort of lost that "spark" of feeling the presence of God in my heart and just pouring his love all over me like a warm blanket during worship. I could still get "in the zone", but not as emotionally as I had before. That changed today...

Last summer, I had the chance of meeting one of my favorite musicians at New Life. Wouldn't you know her name is Andy? Ok, so this isn't that common of a name but I have 3 different Andy/Andi's in my life and all 3 are some amazing women! Well, Andy is so talented. She plays guitar, bass, and probably 10 other things and can SING. I mean, SING. Andy is never ever afraid to show everything of what she is thinking and feeling during worship. She puts her hands up, closes her eyes, moves her mouth silently to pray between lines she sings, taps her heart, taps her foot, or points to Heaven. All while remembering the words of a song and playing an instrument! She introduced me to some of my favorite Christian songs. One is "Hosanna" by Hillsong United. {see the video here} It's funny because I had never heard of many of these songs until church and now when I hear them on the radio, I honestly like the New Life bands' versions better! Last year before she sang "Hosanna", she explained what the song meant to her. It happened to be Palm Sunday. She spoke so eloquently about how special that word is. "Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest...Save us, save us," yelled the people as they waved palms as Jesus entered Jerusalem. So, no matter where you are in your spiritual journey, you will still need Him to get to God. Save me.

So, a few months later, at the Women's Retreat, I decided to get baptized via immersion (see Nature Walk post). It was not planned and added to the final day's already packed afternoon. As I stood in the back in my New Life t-shirt and shorts, I kept thinking, "Andy, please play something good because I will remember this song forever." Well, wouldn't you know she played "Hosanna" on an acoustic guitar with just her own voice? MAGICAL. I teared up to say the least. Again, coincidence? I think not. {you can see a video entitled "thirsty" here}

Since I was in a good mood today (for some still unidentifiable reason), I was excited to see what worship would bring. Matt and the band were playing and then out came Andy on the stage. I was happy! Gosh, I sound like a groupie, don't I? ;) As I watched Andy get fired up and ready to belt, I decided I would try some of her methods of worship. I'm still too nervous to put my hands up because not many people at church do that. Is that funny that I'm afraid? Like I said, I'm still growing spiritually. I closed my eyes, began to pray the words from Sing, Sing, Sing and make music with the Heavens... grateful that you hear us... when we shout your praise, lift high the name of Jesus... you are the one, you are the one... I apologize for butchering the song, but that's how I hear it. {to see a video with the CORRECT lyrics, go here} I put my hand on my heart today and really focused my energy and my mind on prayer. For the next 3 songs, I could FEEL God's love pour over me again! I closed my eyes, tuned out everyone and everything around me and was the only person in that auditorium. I prayed more "productively", meaning I was able to talk to God more freely and basically open my heart to Him to thank Him, praise Him, ask Him, and feel Him there. I saw my brother Scott and began to tear because I miss him so much, but smiled when I saw how happy he was with the angels in eternity. I love when I get to see and feel that. I miss Scott more than ever lately, even though it's been almost 19 years since his car accident. Why now? Maybe because I am closer to God than ever in my life? But if that's the case, why am I not happy because I now KNOW for a fact where he is? Like I said, I'm still growing...

This post is a long, rambling one, but I want Libby and Drew to read these words in the years to come to realize that their mama is growing a lot right now, but still has a long way to go. I want them to know just how much joy God brings to my life and can only pray that they will voluntarily seek out and feel that joy, too. I want them to know that I ask God daily how I can teach them about Him. I want them to have their own "Andy" that inspires them to worship in a different way so that they can experience the same as I did today. I want them to have more courage than I do right now and not be afraid to raise their hands and "SING, SING, SING!"